Yesterday’s post on self-talk drew some heartfelt comments. I can tell it touched a chord. I’d like to continue the discussion.
If you haven’t read Na’ama’s story about the little girl who stops to check in with her body before answering a question about how she’s feeling, please jump back a day and read it. That little girl has a valuable lesson to teach us all.
I’d like to tie that story in with the comment that colonialist made about how we report on our health as a moral value (good vs bad) instead of just responding with how we are actually feeling, like the little girl in Na’ama’s story.
We are so conditioned to come up with the right answer, aren’t we?
How are you?
What’s the right answer? Do I play it safe and just say “okay” like I’m supposed to? Do I speak my truth and alienate everyone around me who is having a good day? What if I say the wrong thing and people give me that pitying look, or that bored look, or that “whatever” look? Why is this is so complicated? I want people to like me. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer. I don’t want them to think I’m a whiner. But if I don’t tell them the truth then I have to move and act like I have energy that I don’t have. Why should I pretend to be happy just to make them feel comfortable? No matter what I say they’re never going to understand anyway.
Have you ever held a conversation like that in your head? We are so programmed to have the right answer. All of our advertising tells us how we should look and feel. We can’t even answer a simple, “Hi, how are you doing?” without going through mental gyrations. We have forgotten how to be simple and innocent, taking the question at face value, checking in with our bodies and answering with the facts. At this moment, right now in this place, I feel (fill in your own blank). It’s not an equation seeking to identify the statistical mean of every moment of our lives. Right here, right now, in this moment, how do you feel? No moral “good vs bad” judgment. Just find a simple answer to a simple question.
I feel fine, and thank you for asking.
Love, peace, hugs and good health to all of you.