Fog Busting

The thing about the mental fog that comes with loss, loss of any kind, is that you can’t just rent a wind machine and blow it away.  You can’t will it away, or wish it away.  For that matter, half the time you don’t even realize you’re in a fog.

Nasty stuff, fog.  And when it starts to lift, it tends to do what fog so often does.  It rolls right back in again.

But eventually it dissipates for good, and then you’re left to figure out where you are, where you want to go next.  Sometimes you even need to know who you want to be next, because you were in the fog for so long that your world changed shape while it was waiting for you to come back.  Friends left.  Your job changed.  The world moved on because it exists in a fog-free zone.  Lucky world.

I’ve always thought that the biggest failing of the 12 Step programs is that they don’t have a thirteenth step and a fourteenth step.  Why stop at 12?

Because the thirteenth step involves leaving the past behind and joining the present.  No one has written a program for that.  But they should.  Maybe Cee and I will.

Peace and many hugs, my friends.

Chris

17 Comments

  1. The past present and future are forever with. Especially the past. Monday Feb 11th is my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 89. End of this month is my Birthday. I will always miss getting that Birthday call. Every Holiday reminds me of my parents. Even though they passed away over 20years ago. Life has never been the same. They are irreplaceable.
    Nobody will ever care or Love me like they did.

    Sure for the sake of society and basic survival you go on maybe even have a few accomplishments but it means nothing without them being there. Nothing can change that.

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    1. I know from reading your blog for years how much your parents mean to you, and how you have struggled since they have been gone. And I know you can’t replace them. What you can do is slowly modify how you feel about your experience. That’s what we’ll be writing more about in the weeks to come.

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      1. Thanks. Life does go on and obviously I have continued. I enjoy spending time with my brother Stephen since it’s only the two of us. I retired last Year from the Museum and in January of this Year I started working part time at The Brooklyn Public Library. I’m still writing, doing my Photography and artwork but when my parents died so did part of me. Nobody to share good or bad news. Nobody to ask for advice or just listen. There are certain moments of life that can only be shared with close family. All the times in the past ten years I’ve been hospitalized, sick or having surgery I had to face my fears alone. Most of the time bandaged up like a Mummy trying to get food and take care of myself. They were my support system.

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  2. Actually Cee – I believe the Grief Recovery Method is that next step – indeed teaching us the new skills needed to complete with the past so that we can indeed be more present in the present… leading to the next future. Many have found this to be the case, in my experience. Thanks for writing!

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    1. Thanks, Lois. Yes, I agree with you. I think that the Grief Recovery Method is the next step. It’s the best thing I’ve found for dealing with grief, by far. I have more to say about the topic, and I’ll be wiring about it next week.

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  3. Well done. I take it Chris wrote the copy and Cee did the photography. Plaudits on both. But, I must know about that photo! Is that fog cut off squarely at the edge? Is it because rain was falling? I’ve never seen the like of it. Great photo. And true words…

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    1. Hi Judy, yes I did take that photo, It was a fog bank from my memory and not rain. Rain is usually much darker on our coast line. I thought it fit perfectly for Chris’s article. 😀 Yes, Chris did the writing 😀 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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