Yesterday I was reading something and the author used the word “recollection”. That word struck a chord in me, so I had to look it up. Merriam-Webster says recollection means “tranquility of mind”. That’s how I feel when I think of my history now. I can recollect my losses and I no longer feel the pain or emotions of loss and grief. In fact, it’s quite the opposite of it.
Chris has always been amazed that I have fond memories of childhood. My childhood was not the sort to leave anyone with fond memories. I was very sick as a child. I was molested as a child. I should be still living in the pain of my past, but I’m not.
That’s what I like about doing your own grief work. You can change your past, and by doing so, change your future. Yes, I still remember the bad times I had as a child, but I processed those. I even showed you how I figured out how to process as a very young child, by writing my story of my dog’s death.
This is the promise of the grief work that we do ourselves and that we teach people to do: you can own your entire life and be proud of your life. It’s yours. Every experience you’ve had is what makes you the person you are, strong, compassionate, loving. To do your grief work, you have to let the love back in.
You don’t have to just live in the good and deny the bad. It’s all there. There’s no shame, no regret. The pain disappears. The memories are still there, but your recollection will be “tranquility of mind”.
I guarantee it.