We’ve revised our Loss List. We thought we were doing a good job with our 47 items until I found someone else who had 64 losses on their list. No, this isn’t a case of loss list envy. It’s important because grief is our reaction to loss, and if you’re ever going to move beyond the things that hold you back in life, you need to recognize and understand the impact your losses have had on your life.
So what are we adding?
- Estrangement from family. I can’t believe we never had this on our list. This is a huge issue with so many families, and for so many reasons.
- Entering or leaving military service. This is another I can’t believe we forgot, since I’m a veteran.
- KIA. We list MIA (Missing In Action) and POW (Prisoner Of War), but don’t have KIA (Killed In Action), so we will rectify that oversight as well.
- Grieving someone you didn’t know at all (like a celebrity). Remember when Princess Diana was killed? Or the shock we felt when Robin Williams died by suicide? Or, if you’re from my era, when President Kennedy was assassinated? True, these events didn’t have the impact of more personal losses, but they touched your life story.
- Grieving someone you only knew online (cyber loss). We can make some good friends on line, and we feel the loss when they are no longer with us.
- Getting clean and the loss of drugs. We know that sinking into addiction is a loss, but so is getting clean and sober.
- Death of the partner in an extra-marital affair. This is one thing you will probably have to grieve alone.
- Grieving someone you can’t remember (ex. a parent who died when you were an infant). Yes, this is a real thing. I’ve worked with children who have problems with this.
- Grieving someone who died before you were born (an older sibling who died before you were born).
So that’s just a preview. There will be other additions. More things to come to get you thinking and remembering.
Lots of hugs,