When we talk about Hopes, Dreams and Expectations, we are also quantifying them in our minds. With any relationship, with any loss, we are always thinking of what we could have done, could have had that might have been Better, Different or More.
Here’s an example: Almost everyone has had a change in jobs at one point in their lives. We either move on to another job, or have lost a job, or changed careers. But whatever the reason, we are always hoping the new position will be better than, different from or more than we had the last time.
Changing jobs, even if it is a promotion, is still a loss of the familiar, of companions and colleagues, of a certain route to work, or pattern in your day. A loss of one set of hopes, dreams and expectations comes while another set takes its place with the new job.
When we think of that in terms of our deeply personal relationships, like our families, the idea of “Better, Different, More” becomes critical. If we have a loss of one of them, our grief makes us even more aware of what has changed, and where we had unfulfilled wishes of what we wanted to have be better, different or more. While we hold onto those expectations, we won’t find peace.
Think of all the important relationships in your life. Take a moment to reflect on how you can make them better, or different, or more. Don’t wait for a loss of someone. Hug them now. Thank them now. Take the time to rejoice in the role they play in your life, how they add to it.
Lots of virtual hugs,