Feeling Stuck?

(Note:  no turtles were harmed in the writing of this blog.)

Are you feeling stuck?  You know the feeling…. like you’re in a rut and can’t seem to get out.  You wind up with the same crummy relationships.  Or maybe you are in a job that is not fulfilling.  Or maybe you have given up on your dream of going to Europe.  Or finishing your degree.  Or… the list is endless.

No matter how you try to motivate yourself, at the end of the day you are still in the same place.

You kick yourself for being lazy.  You berate yourself for your lack of discipline.  You feel like a real idiot when you can’t figure out why you aren’t moving forward, even with the things that are most important to you.

You spend all your energy dancing with the Should Monster.  You know the Should Monster, that annoying fellow who sits on your shoulder and repeats that litany of all the things you should have done, should be doing.

I’m here to tell you to lighten up on yourself.  You are stuck in grief and don’t even know it.

“But, wait”, you say.  “I haven’t had anybody die on me.  How can you claim I’m in grief?  You don’t even know me.  You haven’t heard anything about my life.”

True.  But I know something you don’t.

Grief isn’t always about death.  But it is always about loss and how we deal with loss.  And we all have losses, many of which we haven’t dealt with all the way.  We’ve become emotional hoarders, mental packrats, hanging on to all the bits and pieces of our lives.

To be continued…


Categories: Grief

Tagged as: ,

19 replies »

    • Yes… it’s all about loss. What we call grief is merely the response to loss. We’ll all grieving, to some degree or another. Wait until we talk about the loss list. That will really blow you away!

    • I think you’ll find it intriguing. I know I did. Actually, it’s kind of mind blowing when you see patterns of loss in your life, and how those patterns have shaped your life.

    • Oh, Linda, just wait to see what else we have to talk about. Like did you know that you not only have to deal with the losses in your life, but also the losses in your ancestors lives? You see, not only have people not had an effective way to deal with grief, but in lieu of helpful advice, they passed to their children and their children’s children the same self-defeating ideas they were taught. Like stuff your feelings. Grieve alone. You just have to be strong. Don’t cry. So that is going to be another big discussion!

    • Ah, be careful what you wish for. Seriously, this is a complicated discussion but when we get all the way through it, you’ll be shaking your head and wondering why you didn’t figure this out sooner. It’s one of those “no-brainer” things that seem obvious at the end, but are completely “in the trees” if you’re in the middle of your own life and grief.

  1. Greetings Ladies from DeBorah! So happy to be a part of this amazing & incredible journey. Being a U.S. Army Veteran I just wanted to share how art is Liberating, Freeing and helping Women Veterans who live in VA facilities get unstuck and heal from sexual abuse & violence. In my journey I too am using Art to regain my dignity due to sexual assault which happened when I was in the military. I consider these brave & courageous Women Veterans not just survivors but born to Thrive and Overcome. I follow in their humble footsteps.

    • That was a wonderful article. I’m an Army vet who started out in the Women’s Army Corps and then became part of the Regular Army when the WAC was disbanded and merged into the Army. So that’s going back a ways now. I remember the sexual abuse that went on in my time. I want to eventually do some kind of VA outreach, so you’re inspiring me.

      I know that I speak for Cee when I say that we are so glad you are on this journey with us. Lots of virtual hugs!

  2. It was happen to me sometimes losing self motivation but i figured out , Am going to full down my self , so i let go that bad emotion never help myself anymore 🙂

Share with us!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s